Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Leave it to a Marine!

Hope you enjoy this giggle from Meredith's Jack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk with an  engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of the rescue helicopter crew and the ship's medical staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.
 
One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
 

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview.

At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?”

The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
 

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out as well.
 

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Navy Master Chiefs put together.

The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

“And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one f*cking ear.”

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Kick-off the Week


Hey y’all…I know I’ve been bad about replying to comments as well as very absent in visiting. Between work, family and my own head, I just can’t seem to get it all together.  I am trying and hope to do better in the near future.  I know, I’ve said it before… *sigh*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope this kicks your week off with a good giggle…


Friday, February 16, 2018

Irish Giggles

Fun giggles from Meredith's Jack! Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Irish Confession

I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.

Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses.

On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

When the priest came in, I said to him,"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."

~~~~~~~~~~

My Mother wanted me to be a priest…

Can you imagine giving up your sex life; and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?



Thursday, February 15, 2018

In the Woods

Two Indians and I

were walking through the woods.

All of a sudden one of the Indians

ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.





"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

he called into the cave and listened closely

until he heard an answering,

"Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!


He then tore off his clothes

and ran into the cave.



I was puzzled

and asked the remaining Indian

what it was all about.

"Was that Indian crazy or what?"




The Indian replied

"No, It is our custom during mating season

when Indian men see cave, they holler

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.

If they get an answer back,

it means there's a beautiful woman

in there waiting for us."



Just then they came upon another cave.

The second Indian ran up to the cave,

stopped, and hollered,

"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

Immediately, there was the answer.

"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside.


He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.




I wandered around in the woods

alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.


As I looked in amazement at the size

of the huge opening, I was thinking,

"Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!

It's bigger than those the Indians found.

There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!"


I stood in front of the opening

and hollered with all my might,

"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"




Like the others, I then heard an answering call,

"WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!"


With a gleam in my eye and a smile on my face,

I raced into the cave,

tearing off my clothes as I ran.




The following day, 

the headline of the local newspaper read...




NAKED NORWEGIAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!!!!!



Don’t feel bad…I did didn’t see it coming either.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Monday, February 12, 2018

Irishman’s First Drink with Son

Hope you enjoy this awesome giggle from Meredith's Jack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irishman's first drink with his son!

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.


Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.

I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.


Then I got him a Kilkenny, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.


Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager?

He didn't. I drank it.


I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope!


In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest whisky.

He wouldn't even smell it.


What could I do but drink it!

 
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so shit-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!!!

Sunday, February 11, 2018

As I Get Older

Another giggle from Meredith's Jack! Enjoy!!!

As I get older, I realize:

#1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.

#2 - I consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.

#3 - I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.

#4 - My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

#6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.

#7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.

#8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

#9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then
come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me.

#11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I'm there.

#12 - When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini
vacation.

#13 - Some days I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed.

#14 - I thought growing old would take longer.

#15 - Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up.

#16 - I still haven't learned to act my age and doubt I’ll live that long…